My Cruise Etiquette Tips

2. Get some exercise. Fact: The elevators are going to be crowded around dinner and show times. A bunch of crabby people waiting for the elevators will only stir each other up even more; I saw it happen time and again. If you are physically able, why not walk off that crème brûlée and take the stairs — or maybe do a lap on the Sports Deck.

 

3. Shut up. It is not necessary to slam your cabin door each time you enter and exit the cabin, and it is rude to do so (some passengers actually sleep — during the day — on a cruise). Close the door slowly and preserve some of the peace. Never been on a cruise? There are probably a hundred cabins within earshot of each slammed door.

4. Practice moderation. OK, it’s your vacation: Have fun and party on. But know your limits. No one likes a sloppy drunk, and the last thing you want to do is spend a night in the medical facility because you planted your ass through the glass coffee table. The other downside is when you look at your bill on the last night and it is more then you paid for the cruise itself.

5. Be discreet. Aboard ship, we are all equals. I don’t need to see your Rolex watch, or that 10-carat diamond. No need to flash a wad of cash in the casino either. For one thing, you could be asking for trouble; for another (listen carefully): No one really cares! And another thing, while the ship is your home away from home, it isn’t actually your home, so if you feel the need to wander the hallways, please do so wearing clothes, UNLESS of course you are a supermodel then PLEASE wear anything (or nothing) that you like

6. Remember that you are a world traveler. You may hear others speaking a different or unfamiliar language. (No, it is not a foreign language; it may be foreign to you, but it is not foreign to millions of perfectly competent speakers). If an announcement needs to be made, it will likely be made in several languages; after all, people who speak a language other than yours have the same right to safety and information as you do. Do not demand that people accommodate you. It is all about compromise.

7. Be a good audience member. If you are tired, don’t sit in the front row. How demeaning is it to a performer who is giving his or her all to look out and see an audience member nodding off mid-performance? Now imagine the reaction if there is also a line of drool dribbling from the corner of your mouth. Not a pretty sight, although the photograph I took is a good conversation piece!

 

8. Stop whining. If something has gone wrong or you are unhappy, there is no need to drag a few thousand other people into your mess. There is a simple solution: Ask management to correct the problem. Whining just brings everyone down and — who knows? — your expectations may be way out of line. And another thing: There is NOTHING ANYONE can do about a cloudy day.

9. Dress for public view. If you wouldn’t walk into Wal-Mart wearing short shorts and a tube top, you probably shouldn’t wear them on vacation, either. Same with your bathing suit, Please Please Please wear a suit that appropriate to your size. People come in all shapes and sizes, but most of us are not looking to become acquainted with your every bulge and curve. Also if you need to pick something please do it in your room and not POOLSIDE.

10. Be generous. Tip. Our waitress on the Freedom of the Seas is paid $50 a month. Yes, you read that correctly! The rest of her income comes from gratuities. To the family in the cabins across from me: I heard you all making plans to order room service for 16 on the last night of the cruise so you could avoid having to tip in the dining room. Shame on you!

 

11. Get involved. But not too involved.  Cruises usually offer a lot of activities on board, some have started to cut back because lack of interest. Yes you made have played yahtzee when you were kid, but what the hey your on vacation try it again. When they have a HAIRY chest competition SIGN UP! More then likely at cruise end you will never see these people again, have fun. When there is trivia games go have fun, but please respect other who are playing as well and not blurt out answers. Last note on this IT IS A GAME AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN ANYTHING OF VALUE. There is no need to lie, cheat, bitch, or complain HAVE FUN.

And above all remember your on vacation HAVE FUN only you can ruin your vacation. If something goes wrong roll with it, you probably can't fix it anyhow.